honey & lime

Love poem.

For Nitzan.

1. The flowers he brings die in a glass after three days, my cat sticks her hands inside to catch the water.

2. When the glass breaks and pierces my skin the cut hurts less than the things he says. I am no longer so independent, but if necessary I can learn to be again. I sleep poor without my arm cradled on his pelvis.

3. He promised me that every place we’d live in would have walls the color of sunflowers. I changed him, but his tone of voice won't betray if it was for the worse or the better.

4. I ask him to write me a song - he says the last time he did so she broke his heart. In my dreams at night he is cruel.

5. I do not know if things will last, but I do know how I want them to end - sitting on a porch swing, hand in hand.

6. He is no good at surprises, always spoiling them moments before the reveal. He gets the flowers, but forgets to bring them home.

7. When he’s not here I can’t reach the blender, the toilet paper stash, things in draws far from where I sit. His nails are chewed up to match the skin on my fingers.

8. Maybe one day he’ll wake and find my body won’t keep him safe. Who will paint the walls yellow then?

9. Waking up is lonely when our bodies are spaced on opposite sides of the bed. I roll over and put my glasses on. Today I will drink my coffee alone.