was he ever
poetry by Josefine Stargardt
was he ever
was he ever violent – physically or sexually?
she dreams of his hands that touched, touched, touched
as he branded her neck with purple kisses
she dreams of her wrists, the sheer weight
of his body, how once or twice
she could not catch her breath
are you sure you don’t like it?
she leaves her body before he does
buries herself – the blankets muffle his pleading
when she refuses to fuck him
his silence stains the mattress
you’d think after two weeks I could expect
his come on implanted deep inside of her
his tears and tongue grow poison ivy in her brain
her no is a leaf that crumbles too soon
she dreams of his hands that touched, touched, touched
but was he ever, truly, violent?
Six Signatures
poetry by Josefine Stargardt
Six Signatures
I hear myself speaking, but this is not my tongue, cannot be my tongue,
my tongue is speechless.
It is 11am on a Tuesday and I am naming my abuser,
grabbing his fault by the hair and dragging it up from my gut
buried ten months deep. I shake with helpless laughter
he did this to me
entered my life through a crack in my heart
like trickling water, he wore me down
then picked me up and put me on a throne
long live the queen
queen of illusions, queen of nothing knock down the throne
and throw her to the dogs
a pattern on repeat, knit a chord
thick with lies, with hidden fights and scars that never show
tied to his side
until I broke –
and left him.
my body a map, my body a river polluted
searing hot showers and waiting for blood
good god, let there not be a baby.
A person on the phone, this person breathing, breathing.
Fuck. Then breathing and breathing again.
An hour on the phone, then days in the loop
we believe you, a statement and six signatures
now waiting, dreading, telling myself
he does not know where you live anymore
Josefine Stargardt
Josefine Stargardt is a bilingual poet based in Germany and the UK. Her work has been published in Binde der Welt die Schnürsenkel zu (2016), the anthology of the Treffen Junger Autoren, and other German anthologies. One of her poems has also appeared in Met Five (2019), the yearly anthology of Cardiff Metropolitan University.