honey & lime

there are so many

coat hangers covered in my blood. 

                so many oxygen masks that i kissed

goodbye into. so many ivs and hospital gowns         

                and awkward sideways glances. sometimes 

i am the operating table. sometimes the             

                biohazard bag. but i have never been 

regret. the woman outside told me that she hears

                god. i do, too. she says that its okay. says 

i’m doing the right thing. i have never been one     

                for faith but i’m going to take her word. i 

have never been happier to be so unfilled. to see     

                the christ blood in my underwear. the empty 

tugs but i tug back. i pull fistfuls of myself out and    

                cry with the kind of joy that is only felt when 

one is wild.