The Rape Girl
by Jenna Velez
CONTENT WARNING: rape & miscarriage. Please read at your own risk.
The Rape Girl
the rape girl doesn’t smile / doesn’t laugh or kiss her rapist / doesn’t let him lie on her bed and make himself comfortable / doesn’t serve him tea made from rich green earth when she feeds herself hemlock and saltwater
the rape girl doesn’t masturbate / doesn’t circle her fingers around hidden secrets in undercover self-loathing and think about when her rapist didn’t rape her / she doesn’t drive in the middle of black wet night and return to the scene of the crime
the rape girl doesn’t call him a friend / doesn’t tell him she loves him / doesn’t wish him well / she doesn’t sit in a class called sex crimes or gendered violence and not cry / she doesn’t watch The Hunting Ground and eat popcorn / she doesn’t read two books at a leisurely pace about rape and write a research paper pretending not to understand / the rape girl doesn’t finish her semester with honors while bringing home dishonor on her mutilated skin / she doesn’t forgive her rapist
the rape girl doesn’t have a miscarriage from her rapist and mourn the loss / she doesn’t sink into plans for a baby not her own and feel joy sometimes / she doesn’t weep at the remnants flushed down the drain
the rape girl doesn’t let herself be happy / doesn’t feel the sun or smell the grass / never lets the warmth / penetrate her skin one too many times / she doesn’t reside anywhere but her unkempt bed, a landfill of tissues, pulled hair, and lost self / the rape girl doesn’t live to see tomorrow
Jenna Velez is an emerging queer Latinx poet from suburban Philadelphia. Her work has been featured or forthcoming in over a dozen literary magazines and journals. She is currently a columnist at Pussy Magic Press and a reader for Awkward Mermaid. She tweets @northernbruja and can be found a jennavelez.weebly.com.